life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.