your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.