We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
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You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.