every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Your dad touched me again.