It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year