Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.