Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day