but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.