Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.