hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again