The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.