he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?