You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.