we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.