Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?