I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Send us your Text From Last Night!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am