i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Why is your signature on my underwear?