he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.