in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Send us your Text From Last Night!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient