For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink