I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this