Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.