Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.