I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.