IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.