i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico