Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.