After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes