Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.