I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.