Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.