Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it