she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.