There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.