In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?