I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.