she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.