I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.