Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.