Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?