I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.