you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.