fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.