I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Send us your Text From Last Night!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...