He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?