Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.