Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order