Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.