i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Send us your Text From Last Night!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot