Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.