You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This beer is not sobering me up at all
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.