In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle