She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?