He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.