I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring