Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic