I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
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Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell