She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible