I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.