I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.