you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.