just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.