It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes