bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"