so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun