Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem