You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
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You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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