The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"