Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Send us your Text From Last Night!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I spit up blood this morning
His hands were made for my vagina.