there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.