I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity