I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?