My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.