I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I take back everything I said about communal showers
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.