The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.