I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory