Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?