I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.