Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.