why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.