Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles