Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero