And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Send us your Text From Last Night!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.