just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?