Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven