He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno