my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"