He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back