I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...