Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.