with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it