they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"