His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you