They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.