We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.