you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,