When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.