It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.