Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.