just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.