hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.